


Tacitum

by AichiYume



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Dark Past, Hurt, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Quidditch, Slytherin, Slytherin Harry Potter, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Teacher-Student Relationship, the worst pillow talk ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AichiYume/pseuds/AichiYume
Summary: Silas tells his boyfriend, Felan, about a strange little Slytherin Quidditch tradition.
Relationships: Original Male Character/ Original Male Character
Kudos: 4





	Tacitum

“There is something that I should tell you. I don’t take any pleasure in telling you this. Honestly, things would probably be better if I kept this a secret...but there are things you should know. About me. About...all of this.”

When I first started at Hogwarts, things were incredibly different. I was bright, enthusiastic, all of those things we tease underclassmen for now. I didn’t fit in much anywhere. I was still pretty good looking, even for a kid. No one teased me for this silly little blond patch but I can’t say I fit in well. It wasn’t a huge surprise that I was sorted into Slytherin, sure but back then it felt like a bit of a strange match. I didn’t think I was as cruel, wicked or devious as the house’s reputation led me to believe. I suppose I was incorrect in that regard. It wasn’t until I found Quidditch that I felt like I fit in anywhere. I tried out for the team and I made it. Me, a silly first year, made the team. They usually don’t even let you try out until your second year; nothing like being the spoiled son of an influential man. Quidditch was really something, though. It was damn near life changing.I found something I was good at and that mattered to me. But the team had rules. Well, they were more like traditions. I didn’t know about those at the time, and honestly, if I had known...I’m not sure I would have joined the team yet alone stayed for as long as I did.

_“Oi, move your ass a little. You can’t possibly be tired yet. You’ve only gotten started, Vervain.”_

It’s hard to think back on a time that I was pure or innocent or a virgin. Those things seemed to be so long ago. 7 years, I suppose, is a long time. It really was only the first two years of being on the team that were a problem but I broke much quicker than anyone expected, it took far less time than two years of “conditioning and training”. I broke around the time I lost track of how many had violated my mouth and my ass. I broke around the time I realized that my cries for help were not going to be listened to by anyone. I broke around the time that I realized struggling was only going to make things worse. That is when I simply accepted the situation as it was. I accepted that people were barely worth a fraction of the effort you put into them and that my body was of little use outside of bedroom activity and looking good. It didn’t matter that I was a good student, an excellent athlete or a person at all. I’m sure they’d be just as satisfied if I was little more than a doll or mannequin.

_“Your throat is so tight, Vervain. It’s a shame to ruin ya’. We don’t get many virgins on the team anymore.”_

I’m still not entirely sure what such a tradition has to do with Quidditch or how such a thing even starts. It doesn’t seem like any of the other houses treat their younger Quidditch players like that and it certainly isn’t something that any other school seems to do. By the time I reached my third year and I was suddenly the upperclassman, it was my job to then properly train the new batch of players. “I’ll do my best to be gentle; you don’t deserve to be treated harshly.” It’s been like that since I started here. I quickly gained a reputation for being a slut and my body got very used to being treated in such a way. It’s like being given a drug and then having to chase that high for the rest of your natural days. There was no point in reporting such activity, as soon as I became the victimizer rather than the victim, it actually stood to damage my reputation more so than the one I built about being easy to lure into bed. It’s easier to deal with the true claim of being willing to swallow than it is to actively be put in danger for ruining a time-honored tradition. It got easier to deal with in time. I encouraged the team to use me if they felt frustrated and that spared most of the underclassmen. I worry about what will happen when I graduate.

I wonder what will happen when Slytherin’s own sacrificial human toilet leaves this place and the old tradition of abusing underclassmen is reinstated. But I don’t try to think about it too much. It’s too distressing to do so and worrying will only fade my good looks.

* * *

“See, this is why I never wanted to tell you. I knew you’d get all up in arms about it. There’s no point in trying to find those guys; they’re long gone. Graduated by now, I’m sure. I don’t wish to find them or even think much of the whole thing. It was a tradition for years before I arrived and likely when I leave, will be a tradition again. I just hope that it doesn’t leave behind too many scars on the new batch of students. Maybe they’ll be stronger than I was. I certainly hope they are.”


End file.
